University of Wisconsin–Madison

The Problem of Minor Inconveniences

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Me: God, can I ask You a question?
God: Sure
Me: Promise You won’t get mad
God: I promise
Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?
God: What do u mean?
Me: Well, I woke up late
God: Yes
Me: My car took forever to start
God: Okay
Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait
God: Huummm
Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call
God: All right
Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn’t work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?
God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one
of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that
Me (humbled): OH
God: I didn’t let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
Me: (ashamed)
God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn’t want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn’t afford to miss work.
Me (embarrassed):Okay
God: Your phone went dead bcuz the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn’t even let you talk to them so you would be covered.
Me (softly): I see God
God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn’t think you wanted to be in the dark.
Me: I’m Sorry God
God: Don’t be sorry, just learn to Trust Me…. in All things , the Good & the bad.
Me: I will trust You.
God: And don’t doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.
Me: I won’t God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.
God: You’re welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children…
REPOST if you Believe in HIM ♥

The conversation continues…

Me: Hey, God? I’ve got a few follow-up questions for you.

God: Anytime.

Me: What about really evil stuff? You know, like rape, and genocide, and slavery. Is all that suffering also part of your master plan?

God: My son, haven’t you heard? I can not eliminate all the evils man creates on Earth, this would infringe on your precious gift of free will!

Me: So then what about natural evil? Earthquakes in Haiti. Tsunamis in Japan. Hurricanes in New Orleans. No free will involved, what’s stopping you from preventing these?

God (Embarrassed): Errr… well… the thing is… that you have to understand… I work in very mysterious ways, alright?

Me: Cancer? Really, we could have done without that. And that parasitic worm you made – the one that can only reproduce in humans, and makes us go blind? That was a total dick move.

God (Becoming agitated): Just trust me, I have a plan! Don’t make me send you Hell…

Me: You’re a real asshole, God.


10 thoughts on “The Problem of Minor Inconveniences”

  1. I guess the problem is that believers really DO think that way. It helps them survive hardship (even though the dialog didn't involve any REAL hardship), and gives them comfort when they just can't understand. To be a non-believer, you have to give up the security blanket, and admit that neither you nor humanity is anything special or different from anything else in the universe, and that SH*T happens. It takes a LOT of emotional and psychological strength to accept that, and believers who relate to that "conversation" are not strong.

  2. God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.
    Me: What about the Christian Missionaries that get kidnapped, tortured, and killed? Isn't their work and life as important? If they don't preach your word of peace and love and the people that now won't hear it are condemned to eternal Hell, they CAN afford THAT instead?!
    God: (Sputtering)B-B-But, m-my plan, you don't understand –
    Me: Next time, mind your own business, okay? I'll miss a day or two of work, you don't have to kill handfuls of people so I can pay roaming charges on my cellphone, okay?

  3. Ha, I wish that the crappy stuff that happened to me was as juvenile as waking up late and waiting for my car to start.. What about people who are starving? It's not even about God and that one wouldn't let this stuff happen, don't hide behind the argument about whether or not a god could exist, but see that we actually exist and coexist in this realm while these things are happening but we let ourselves be sidetracked with the brainwashing media… Julia Lukens, Tacoma, WA

  4. SO………I got a great idea, lets not believe in God or anything but us for that matter. Lets throw God out of our society. No consequences for what we do or don't do. No God, there can be no evil. We will just kill who we don't like, or just for fun. We will just fuck who ever we please, when ever we please whether the other person wants us to or not.
    If we want it why work for it lets just take it. Yes by all means lets get God out of society, We have done a good job so far, and look how well we are doing. Mass killings, school children dying. Rapes are rampant along with child molestation. Stealing other peoples money, Every day these crimes are in the paper and becoming more frequent. Yes the smarter then the rest, non believers are doing a great job!

  5. God is Good All the Time!!! People hurt people, people steal, people kill and we just look to blame Him. He has given us Free Will and when things don't go our way we blame Him and when they do go our way, we then try and take Credit. God is Perfect and Loves all His Children we need to Trust Him! Live for God and you will Dwell with Him in Heaven. Earth is a Temporary place and all will pass. Where is the praying for others? Where is the Faith? There is always Hope! We should be leading our Youth, Our Children, Our Family, our Friends and helping those in need as A Body. Step Up and stop whinning about how CRappy life is or all the Tragedies going on. You can Help and step up or sit back and Hate the Precious gift of Life. I choose to Live and Live for the one who died for my sins. Amen!!!

  6. I agree with Isaac Montoya!
    When tragedy strikes, everyone prays to God. But when everything is going well, no prays to Him to just say thanks. All good things come from God, anything else is either of this world or controlled by satan. I choose to go against the current and follow this narrow road to where my God wants me to be.

  7. The wild card. Nobody ever ever talks about God's wild card. God always uses this card against me when I complain about life. Basically he can do whatever he wants whenever he wants in whatever capacity he wants in any time frame he wants with any abilities that he wants in any atmosphere or environment that he wants without any limitations of distance or travel or presence or location or space, the past and the future. So therefore God must obviously know something we don't know about the afterlife. I think hell has been raped beyond belief to scare people. I believe you can die a second death in the afterlife, but I'm very curious about this wild card since God can do whatever he wants in the afterlife, which means it's kind of useless to complain about anything while we're here because we could die and then the wild card turns out to be a very lovely situation. Since we cant really change the progression of the world individually, all we can do is either have faith or don't have faith. Pretty much comes down to that. Oh well, I guess we will all find out! Gotta admit this subject rules! Ultimate unsolvable mysteries rule!

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